It’s a fact
of life: numerous people have set ideas on how others should act, think, speak,
and look. Another detail is that few of us can measure up to every single
expectation put on us by religious organizations, schools, groups, and
cultures.
Most of us
try to live in a socially conscious manner. However, some people may fall short.
Anyone can be blocked by physical or mental limitations. We may have chronic
challenges; or, we may be going through temporary trauma. When all’s said and
done, most of us don’t measure up to “perfection”.
The famous
English playwright, William Shakespeare, often addressed this issue. Here are
some Sparknotes quotes taken from Act 2, Scene 2 of his
famous tragedy, Hamlet (Hamlet is
speaking to Polonius):
- (original Shakespeare) “Use every man after his desert, and who should ’scape whipping?”
- (No Fear Shakespeare [modern English] version) “If you pay everyone what they deserve, would anyone ever escape a whipping?”
Was a more
profound life truth ever written?! Let’s face it: all of us are imperfect; therefore,
we all deserve punishment. Humanity generally falls short of the “ideal”. In
fact, few people can agree on the definition of “ideal”. It can vary from group
to group, or culture to culture.
Given that
fact, how can we all get along? The world is becoming more diverse and
complicated daily. As a result, we’re bombarded with constant examples of
people who don’t want to interact in a healthy manner with others. They prefer
to judge and condemn. The rest of us will find there’s only way to ensure
healthy relationships of any kind: give and receive grace (aka undeserved favor) where possible.
What does “undeserved
favor” mean? Loosely translated, it signifies compassion (or mercy) that isn’t
earned. For example, if my kids disrespect me or annoy me, I may not feel that
they deserve kindness in return. Yet, since I’m their mom, I will try to react
to their uncomplimentary behavior with compassion. I will remind myself that
they are tired, sick, or hungry.
How Does Grace Work?
The
practical application of grace is that we allow people their harmless quirks, temper tantrums, and
limitations of any kind. “It is what it is,” as we often hear today. In other words, there’s not much we can do
about certain situations; so, we should just accept them. Please note that I’m
not advocating the acceptance of attitudes that may be harmful, dangerous, or
openly disrespectful. What I’m referring to is petty annoyances.
None of us
are perfect--even at church; I’m certainly not.
Yet, I recently discovered that fellow church members see a positive
side to me. I will share an uplifting example of a recent incident at my church
when grace was shown to me:
About 25 parents
of teenagers were gathered in a room, seated in a circle of chairs. We were told
to write our names at the top of a blank sheet of paper. Next, we would pass
the paper to the person on our right. Then, the paper would get passed to every
person in the circle until it was returned back to us. Each individual was asked to write a
compliment on the paper as they received it. In this manner, every person in
the room received 25 positive written affirmations.
Examples of
the compliments I received include the following: “organized”; “strength under
pressure and trial”; “kind”; “You are wonderful on the piano”; and, “always
helping others.”
My Conclusion
We all
deserve a “whipping” because we’re all imperfect. Wouldn’t the world be a kinder, gentler place
if we tried to find even a few positives in the middle of what appears to be a
sea of negatives?
I highly
recommend this 5-star Christian book: Not
Just on Sundays,by Bonnie Lyn Smith. It uses scriptures and personal examples to demonstrate
how we can show ourselves, and others, grace.
When was grace
last shown to you?
