What do you
think; does everyone act and think the same? Do we all have the same interests
and values? Metaphorically speaking, is the world full of dance-troop members
who wear the same kind of make-up and costumes, and are about the same height? The
similarities don’t stop at appearance. The best dance groups will be so fluid
and synchronized that viewers don’t bother to distinguish individuals among
them.
DM Nation
Pictured
above is this dance crew of young ladies from Quebec, Canada. They have made it
to the semi-finals of the current season of America’s Got Talent. These talented young stars have regulated
their appearance and movements even more than some other groups. The ladies
move as one, in many cases. Obviously, their costumes are identical. They all
wear their hair straight, long, and mainly pulled back in a ponytail. Black
lipstick tops off their mannequin-like look.
Hello?! This is The Real World!
Dance crews
benefit from presenting themselves as a group, not as individuals. After all,
we wouldn’t want to see any Irish step dancers mixed in with a Latin dance
troop. That would be confusing and counterproductive. However, everyday people are different. The
truth is that we shouldn’t expect individuals to look, act, and think the same.
That’s unfair and unrealistic. We are what we are; take us, or leave us.
I don’t mean
to imply that we should be allowed to run roughshod over peoples’ sensitivities
in the name of being true to ourselves. I mean that everyone needs to allow for
a variety of viewpoints and appearances, within reason.
Carol
This relative
has always been extremely blunt and overbearing. She also expects people to be
as outgoing, open, and assertive as she is. She doesn’t understand that others
may not be comfortable with confrontation, sharing deep feelings, and frequent
communication.
Sometimes, Carol
and I are on completely different wavelengths. She mistakenly analyzes every
conversation according to her own personality. Nobody’s happy, as you can
imagine.
Yesterday,
during a phone call, it became clear that she was baffled and offended by my
low-key attitude towards our relationship. In return, I was surely insulted by
her ongoing underlying message that my way wasn’t good enough, and I had to
start doing things her way.
I overcame
my natural reserve enough to explain to her why I wasn’t meeting her
expectations, and she finally understood. The conversation ended on a positive
note, and I was proud of myself for pushing through a difficult situation.
The Bigger Picture
Obviously, I
am far from the only person who has encountered challenges with individuals who
are different from me. We see this at work, at school, in our homes, in our
places of worship, and the list goes on. The best thing we can do is try to
empathize with other people who confuse us. We need to correctly analyze their
motivation and their intended message, or we may react inappropriately.
My Conclusion
We weren’t
born into a world of beautiful dancers who look the same, move the same, and
have the same goals. We are unique, and that’s the way life was meant to be. The
challenge of living in such an environment is that people are going to
disappoint us. Most people cannot always give us what we need, or know what we
require, if they don’t think like us. However, we learn and grow from our
interactions.
How have you
learned from people who are different from you?
