Does your
life always go as planned? Is your hair always perfect? Do people always treat
you right? Do your kids accomplish everything they’re asked when they’re asked? Are you always able
to check everything off your to-do list? Are you never sick? Have you gotten
every promotion you ever tried for?
Doesn’t
sound like your reality? You have no clue what I’m talking about? Well, neither
do I. I have no idea what a “perfect” life is. Many days, I scramble to make it
through the minimum of responsibilities. I could go through the list above
point by point and tell you how far my life has always been from these ideals.
The Blame Game
Whose fault
is that? My imperfect parents? The many “experts” who didn’t diagnose my main
medical problem correctly (so I’ve suffered my whole life)? The many bullies in
my earlier life? Impatient, selfish, or evil people today? Friends and loved
ones who can’t/won’t give me what I want/need?
Believe it
or not, none of these are the problem. The root cause of my
limited life is me. I have had many struggles. Some of them were my
fault; some weren’t. Many of them could have been changed at the time if I had
acted differently; others couldn’t. However, I CAN change my reactions to any
current or former challenges now.
The bottom line is that the trials of my past are no excuse for
failure in the present. They do not define me. If I allow the past to express me by engaging in
self-sabotaging behaviors, that’s no one’s responsibility but mine. I choose my own reactions to every action; nobody else does. I
can choose to try to find cures for my medical problems, or I can choose to
wallow in self-pity. It’s all on me. Nobody else is accountable
for my happiness and success but me.
What do the Experts Say?
Throughout
history, self-responsibility has been a favored topic of religion, literature,
and self-help gurus. I have compiled 11 quotes from current and past prominent
figures on the topic of self-responsibility:
“If
you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck, and if you hang out with
eagles, you’re going to fly.”—Dr. Steve Marshall
************
“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer
a lot. When you realize that everything springs from only from yourself, you
will learn both peace and joy.”—His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
************
“Real
power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain and we take
responsibility for all our feelings.”—quotesgram.com
************
“You can either have excuses or results…but you cannot have both.”—www.coaching-cues.com
************
“There are two primary
choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility
for changing them.—Denis Whattley
************
“In
the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never
ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own
responsibility.”—Eleanor Roosevelt
************
“Attack the evil that
is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.”—Confucius
************
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of
your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”—Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt
************
“If not us, then who? If not now, then when?”—John E.
Lewis
************
“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting
personal responsibility for our actions, we greatly reduce our power to change
them.”—Steve Maraboli
************
“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that
every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done,
whether it be good or bad.”—2 Corinthians 5:10
My Conclusion
Nobody but
me is responsible for my happiness. Enough said.
How have you
taken charge of your own contentment?
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