“Trolls”, bullying,
road rage, and every other kind of disrespect abound in today’s world. This is not good news for the victims,
obviously. However, think about it: negativity
doesn’t aid the perpetrator, either. It may accomplish an immediate goal of
a grudging apology, a subdued child or “subordinate”, or a quieter room/house,
but is that enough?
Is winning the battle
but losing the war really worthwhile? What has really been gained? Only a short-term objective. The
long-term consequences include the following:
- Resentment/Bitterness
- Complete emotional disconnect
- Simmering fear/anger (which could erupt at a later time)
- Permanent loss of the relationship
Choose Courtesy
My last
post was about using common sense when
making choices. Today, I would like to talk about the importance of kindness.
No matter how angry and upset people make us, we have the choice to not let it
get to us.
Now, hold
on. Don’t get upset. I am not saying that being kind is always easy. It’s a
lifelong learning process for some of us. It can be a huge hurdle. In truth, it
has taken me decades to become a softer, gentler person.
The biggest
issue, for me, is that it doesn’t seem
fair to respond to discourtesy with courtesy. So, why should we at least try to do it?
A Give and Take Situation
Actually, it’s
not about fairness. The most important reason to choose courtesy is that it aids the giver
as well as the receiver. Unkindness adds darkness/negativity to both the provider and the recipient. We want
to avoid that at all costs. On the other hand, kindness adds light/positivity to both sides. In the long run,
both criticism and courtesy are two-way streets to either happiness or misery.
How, Exactly, Does Courtesy Benefit
Us?
Kindness has a positive
effect on our health. A Huffington
Post article states that it
helps us in the following ways:
- Longer life
- More happiness
- Less stress
- Higher serotonin levels
We receive
what we give. In other words, we reap
what we sow. (a.k.a., The Law of the Harvest.)
- Our connections become stronger.
- We build a wider support network.
- We form cooperation, trust, and a sense of safety.
How has Positivity Boosted my
Relationships?
I have much
more peaceful, nurturing interactions since I began the most herculean battle of my
life: spreading positivity. The fact is
that most people will try to return kindness for kindness. The payoff may not
be immediate, but it will come:
- Gratitude
- Favors
- A listening ear
- Useful information
My Conclusion
Please see
more about choosing courtesy in my book, Accept
No Trash Talk: Overcoming the Odds.
Have you
chosen kindness today?
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