January 16, 2016

How Important are our Words?




Many of us have no idea how every bit of communication has an immediate effect—for better or for worse. Today, I’d like to discuss that topic as I introduce my soon-to-be published self-help manual.




This is the cover for my next book, which I am working on right now. It was made by my ultra-talented friend at The Book Khaleesi.    She is a one-stop shop for everything in the world of self-publishing. This includes writing; editing; setting up websites; and, banner, cover, and interior design. (Please contact me first for editing, though. lol. This is my blog!)

Note: The Book Khaleesi also designed the cover below for my book now selling through Amazon. Please click here to view it.



I hope to have my work ready for publication within the next month. It will be the first in a never-ending (hopefully!) series. I intend to write other, unrelated books. Yet, this particular series will only include compilations of my blog posts. Volume 1 will contain 76 of my most recent blog posts, along with added commentary. The uplifting articles address the major themes of my blog: religion, communication, relationships, determination, and attitude.

I have included a few paragraphs of my remarks preceding the section on communication below:

It’s crucial to our well-being to keep track of how we convey our thoughts and words. We can instantly heal or hurt people with our words, and vice versa. This is such an important topic that I can only begin to touch on its significance here.

How does any communication begin? Quite simply--with a few words, a smile, or a glare. Only we can decide if our message is worth continuing.

Words help us to form our self-image from childhood, right or wrong. We may have been raised in a loving environment that brought out our best, or we may have lived in negativity.

As we grow, our relationships at school may be nurturing or destructive. Peer pressure to act and dress a certain way has recently multiplied. (Personally, I think that’s why young people gravitate to alternative social groups.) The possibility of negativity skyrockets when we add cyberbullying into the mix.

The work environment presents more communication opportunities and challenges. Co-workers and supervisors may make us feel like a valuable part of a team. Alternatively, we may feel marginalized by their indifference or hostility.

Mystery Diners

This is my favorite reality show on Food Network. It’s a series in which restaurant owners or managers hire a team to come in and find out why their businesses aren’t performing well. In a recent show, a chef/owner named Manny was having trouble with vandalism at a new location.

Mystery Diners discovered that Manny was known as an intense, dictatorial, temperamental boss. He was aggressive and confrontational. His attitude was “It’s my way or the highway.” He even confirmed this on camera.

Three of his workers had deep resentment. One of them was caught stealing, spraying graffiti on the walls, and breaking expensive objects at the new restaurant. The other two were stealing Manny’s customers and trying to open their own restaurant.

I’m not trying to justify what the workers did. However, I think their main motivation for undercutting Manny was his mistreatment of them. One of the employees implied this. If he had shown them respect from the beginning, instead of only insisting on their obedience, he would probably have gotten better results. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have felt the need to sabotage his plans.

Respect and healthy communication are always two-way streets. However, the chef/owner didn’t seem to understand that. Charles Stiles is the owner of the company, Mystery Diners, who identifies problem areas. He suggested that Manny change his managerial style in order to not alienate employees in the future. Manny didn’t really respond. He was clueless about the need to transform his communication style. I predict that he’ll continue to push away his workers. What do you think?

My Conclusion

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)—“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

The way we speak and write has immediate as well as long-lasting effects. That’s why we should consider well before put our words out there in any form.


Does your communication hurt or heal?