“You cannot stop the waves, but you
can learn to surf.”—Jon Kabat-Zinn
Do you have
a naturally sunny disposition? Do you relate to the image above? Do you see the
rain but focus on the rainbow that will come later? If so, I congratulate you.
That kind of mindset certainly does not come naturally to everyone. For some
us, negativity is the default emotion.
That’s
especially true in those situations in which many things are going wrong at once.
It’s the “When it rains, it pours” syndrome. Here’s an example:
- The car breaks down.
- The dishwasher stops working.
- That important project takes longer than expected.
- At least one of the kids brings home inferior grades.
- A nasty virus runs through every family member.
Jenny
She is a
close friend I’ve known since college. To me, she always seemed to be
successful and happy. I saw it as one of those perfect children, perfect
marriage, perfect health, and perfect job situations. Her reality
seemed to be a universe away from my constantly broken body and broken world. I
felt inferior. Let’s face it; I have envied her forever.
I recently
learned an amazing truth: Jenny’s life hasn’t
been flawless. She has merely chosen to
focus on the positive. I knew that her husband, Cliff, had a debilitating,
painful chronic illness. It’s the type of disease that gets progressively worse,
and there’s not much a person can do about it. Nevertheless, my friend rarely discussed
it. In her e-mails and Christmas newsletters, she focuses only on family
victories.
In her last
e-mail, she honored me by finally opening up. I learned that the illness of Cliff was much harder to handle than I could comprehend. He got
so overwhelmed that he started self-medicating. In this manner, an addiction
was born. His church membership was in jeopardy. Also, he could no longer handle
his supremely stressful job.
Cliff had to
make some immediate changes. His health and sanity were at stake. He was forced
to take many steps back, get off the treadmill of his overburdened life, and begin
again. It’s a long road, but this strong man is willing to go the distance.
What an inspiration to us all!
Henry
He is Jenny
and Cliff’s son. He is currently serving as a missionary. As many of us, he
often has self-doubts. Henry can’t help but compare himself to “more successful”
missionaries who baptize more people, for instance. It’s a melancholy way to
think.
On the other hand, he also knows that our mindset is always a choice. We don’t have to be ruled by our circumstances. This message was inspirational and timely for me. I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear it. Jenny has kindly given me permission to share his thoughts:
“One
of our biggest duties…is to be happy…The word ‘gospel’ literally means ‘the
good news’. Abraham Lincoln said, ‘Most people are about as happy as they make
up their minds to be.’ So why not choose to be happy? We have every reason to
be happy. There was a long time on my mission where I felt unhappy. I was
depressed, unsatisfied, and feeling very unsuccessful. I felt that if only
this, or if only that would change, then everything would be alright.”
“Too
many times in my life I have caught myself saying that ‘If only…’. The Lord has
helped me to find Happiness, and that was simply through choosing to be happy. It’s a daily choice, but I can say that it
has made all the difference. My Aunt told me before I came out, if you aren’t
having fun, then you aren’t doing it right.” (emphasis mine)
My Conclusion
There is always something negative going on somewhere. In
many cases, we seem to be drowning in circumstances that drag us down. Upon
closer inspection, that isn’t always the case. While we may struggle with ¾ of our life, there’s always the ¼ of it that’s heading in the right
direction. The challenge is to identify and embrace the optimistic side of what
is otherwise overwhelming darkness.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally brethren, whatsoever
things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are
of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on
these things.”
Are you seeing rainbows or clouds?
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