Does anybody really listen anymore? How often do we really stop what we’re doing, make eye contact, and show that we care about what the speaker is sharing? I know that I often “listen” while I’m typing on a keyboard, or doing some household chore. But, can that really be labeled as listening?
Have we stopped believing in the importance of written and
spoken communication without the benefit of electronics?
Why is focus important?
Doesn’t true communication involve an actual connection of
the souls, not just a system of trading superficial dialogue? I find that
often, when I speak with people, I’m not truly considering what they’re saying.
Instead, I’m thinking about my response. I might also be pondering tasks that I
must do.
As a result of my inattention, I could miss an important
point that the speaker was trying to make. This has happened many times. I
notice that people will often say to me “I already told you that.” On the other
hand, I notice that some people don’t always remember the details of what I
said to them moments earlier.
That reminds me of a conversation that I had with a friend
yesterday. We happened to run into each other at our kids’ school. We were
distracted from the beginning because we knew that we only had a few moments to
talk before the kids dismissed. The conversation wasn’t deep.
It appears that we were working too hard to quickly inform
each other of our latest family news; I don’t think that either of us was listening
that well. We were similar to water faucets turned on full blast: we would take
turns gushing out our latest news, and then turn ourselves off. Running water
doesn’t leave a lasting impression. It goes down the drain and you forget about
it.
What is True Communication?
A Google+ friend of mine wisely notes that conversation
doesn’t merely consist of words. Conversation also involves body language and
facial expressions. In fact, sometimes words can get in the way of the
authentic feelings that we’re trying to communicate—or cover up.
Many other conditions can also get in the way of an
authentic exchange of ideas, such as:
- Hearing loss
- Lack of time
- Lack of interest
- Inability to focus
When Spoken Communication is Hurried,
Written Communication is, too.
It’s no secret that there are two modes of communication in
this new age of information: fast and faster. High-school students know how to
text and Skype at lightning speed, but how many of them know how to sit down
and have an actual conversation, or put together a coherent research paper?
I talked to one college professor who claims that many of
his students text during his lectures and write on an elementary-school level.
I notice that my own kids have an attention span of about
three minutes on topics that don’t interest them. I read various novels set in
previous decades that describe meals, or conversations, that last for hours. Those
days are gone. Now, we’re all busy. Some of us are lucky to find time to have 20-minute
sit-down dinners with our families.
