May 11, 2015

Top Reasons for Using Kind Words

Many people do not think before they speak. Such individuals may spew out anger, or inappropriate comments, that have long-term consequences.  But, all they’re thinking about is their own immediate sense of satisfaction.

There are two clear facts: these individuals hurt people; and, they often jeopardize close relationships through their own ignorance. In short, they lack useful data.

I would like to share what I learned from two online articles. Both posts addressed the relationship between authors and book reviewers specifically. However, the scope can be expanded to include communication in any context:


--Jim Heskett

This colleague published an article on his website about the controversy between indie (self-published) books and those that are professionally published. He says the reputation of indie books is not respectable. Detractors of self-published works stereotype them as sloppy.

Mr. Heskett rightfully points out the disrespect and inaccuracy of such sweeping statements.  How can a whole category of hundreds of thousands of books be dismissed as amateurish? Sure, some self-published works will be unsatisfactory; others won’t.

--Stefan Emunds

A fellow author, Mr. Emunds wrote a blog post about impoliteness in book reviews. Previously, he was a member of an online group of writers that promoted each other. However, he found that some people were unkind and harsh. Their words highlighted their ignorance, abusiveness, and laziness.  He’s certain at least some of his reviewers didn’t read much of his work.

The Bible
The sacred book of Christianity portrays the tongue as a weapon—for good or evil.  In addition, our words are the mirror of our souls; they illuminate our true thoughts:
  • Ignorance 
  • Foolishness 
  • Deceit 
  • Anger 
  • Love 
  • Mercy
Proverbs 15:1-4 (KJV)

A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright; but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
A wholesome tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

My Conclusion


Communication is powerful. It can convey metaphorical life and death. Positive expressions can bring healing. On the other hand, it’s easy to speak rash, negative terminology that causes disruption:
  • Stereotyping 
  • Making judgments with insufficient information 
  • Harshness/cruelty 
  • Insensitivity
Do your words convey spiritual light or darkness?